When we first moved into our house, I distinctly remember Sam and I marveling, "How are we going to fill up 1800 square feet worth of space? And a shed? And an attic?"
Two and half years, one giant dog, one foster daughter and soon(ish) to be born baby and we have MORE than filled up our space. One of my favorite things is to fill up the trunk and haul stuff off to goodwill or kid to kid. Or put something on Craigslist. Or even stack up trash on curb. I know it seems wasteful to throw things away, but I just figure that I am saving someone from cluttering up their place with my rejected riff-raff.
As I clear out the physical clutter from my life, I can't help but contemplate the spiritual and emotional clutter that build up in my heart. Small hurts in relationships that fester. Regrets that won't die. Frustrations with God and others that keeps tugging. Jealousy and judgmental attitudes that steal joy. Guilt that multiplies.
All of these burdens can weigh a heart doubt after awhile. It's time to lay them down. It's time to lay down the burdens of 2011 (and 2010, and 2009 and....) down at God's feet. Maybe the laying down needs to go with repentance or forgiveness. Maybe it will require hard conversations or monumental forgiveness, but they need to be dragged to the curb. Lay that burden down.
Personally, my biggest burdens from 2011 are a sense of failure in certain areas of my life. In trying to juggle being a good grad student, mother, wife, homemaker, daughter, friend, some things feel between the cracks. My grades suffered. Sometimes meals didn't always get made. Sam and chickadee were treated unfairly at times. My Bible went unread far too many mornings. Zeke missed many a walk.
As much as I would like to try to make resolutions to change all of these things; I know I can't move forward until I stop looking back. Lay that burden down.
The second burden that I am struggling with is a sense of frustration with God and life when it comes to our large medical bills last year. I won't go into the details, but it is hard to deal with the sense of injustice. It is hard to think about how we feel as if we did everything right and have tried so hard to live responsibly, and now we must face this large setback where no one seems willing to compromise. Sigh. I continue to ask God not just for solutions, but for thankfulness and peace a midst the still unresolved situation. Lay that burden down.
Do you have any burdens that you are ready to lay down? Or, sweet stories of when you have taken you burdens to the Lord in the past?
“Then Jesus said, ‘Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.”’
Here is a great blog post for mommas struggling with burdens of guilt or regrets.